Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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