everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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