that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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