If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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