your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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