the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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