one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
