Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
