I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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