I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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