You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
