Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
