I'm eating all of the evidence.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
