Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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