People with herpes should wear stickers.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
