Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
