What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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