Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
