I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
