Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
