It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
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