From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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