She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
