i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
