Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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