perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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