Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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