Don't EVER smell your tampon
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
