also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
