Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
now i know why i became what i already was.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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