if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
