White coat. Heels.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
