Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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