Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
