This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
