dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
