I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
