okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
