I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
