he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
