how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
