My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
