guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
