Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
