Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
