Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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