4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
