Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I sprained my soul last night
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
this is an emotional support booty call
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize