That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
