I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
