I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
