We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The adults are the big ones right?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize