Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
