did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
