I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
