When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
