I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
