did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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