I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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