yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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