I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
